You'll have to be a little more standoffish
When fellers offer you a buggy ride
I'll give a imitation of a crawfish
And dig myself a hole where I can hide.

I heard how you was kickin' up some capers
When I was off in Kansas City, Mo
I heard some things you couldn't print in papers
From fellers who been talkin' like they know

Foot!
I only did the kind of things I orta, sorta
To you I was as faithful as can be fer me
Them stories 'bout the way I lost my bloomers, Rumors
A lot of tempest in a pot o' tea

The whole thing don't sound very good to me.

Well, y' see.

I go and sow my last wild oat
I cut out all shenanigans
I save my money, don't gamble or drink
In the back room down at Flannigans

I give up lotsa other things
A gentleman never mentions
But before I give up anymore,
I wanta know your intentions

With me it's all er nuthin'
Is it all er nuthin' with you
It cain't be in between
It cain't be now and then 
No half and half romance will do

I'm a one woman man, home lovin' type
All complete with slippers and pipe
Take me like I am, er leave me be
If you cain't give me all, give me nuthin'
And nuthin's whut you'll git from me
Not even sump'n
Nuthin's whut you'll git from me

It cain't be in between
Hmm Hmm!
It cain't be now and then
No half and half romance will do!

Would you build me a house
All painted white
Cute and clean and purty and bright
Big enough fer two but not fer three
S'posin' that we should have a third one
He better look a lot like me
No spited image
He better look a lot like me
